Contraption (this INFERNAL..)
"Well if this infernal contraption would...." or " Why doesn't this irritating contraption do what it's supposed to do?" Those two statements told the entire world that Jim was "working" on something and had plans to continue until it was "fixed" . By the way if you aren't aware of the definition of the word fixed it means mutilated beyond recognition, O and working that actually means beating mercilessly at an inanimate object with a collection of the most impressive looking tools you can possible muster. Jim was one of my step grandfathers. My Mother was from Grandma's second marriage and Jim was her fifth husband. I had grown up with the man in fact until I was ten or so before I had even met any of the others, but I knew I wasn't his actual granddaughter.
Moving on is what we should be doing I reckon, so here we go.....
It's the dead of winter here in Thonnasassa Fl. which of course means it's a frigid 65 degrees out. Now while I know that there are allot of towns in which a 65 degree day in January would be cause for nothing short of jubilation, here it's a terribly cold day for a climate that is mostly temperate to hot and occasionally even dammed hot. I've already seen our weirdo neighbors pop their heads out make exclamations about the cold air and burrow back into their cozy trailer. Where no doubt electric heaters and warming blankets have been drug from their hiding holes and put into service. It only makes me laugh at their strangeness all the more. "grandpa i thought dey was from up nort sumplase like mitchigun or somethin" I'm prodding him for more information about the people he told me I'm not allowed to be in contact with. He knows it and I know he knows it.... etc.... "Girl, just go get me a 18ths inch head fur my drill, and quit askin about stuff you know damwell your not sposed to be into." "yet tir" I bowed my head and obediently went after the requested tool piece. I'm not fooled old man I thought to myself he'll break as soon as you get back with this socket he let it spill out nice and easy like it's all on purpose. I return with a simple smile on my face certain I had guessed what an 18th inch socket looked like. It was a guess you know, I hadn't a clue what he was talking about beyond that when he worked on the lawn mower he used these one things with holes down the middle on the end of his drill he called them sockets. He was working on the mower now and I hadn't seen the holed sockets so he must want those. I hold my hand out palm up with two of the sockets balanced carefully on top of it. He looked up and smiled at me. "Figured two was safer odds of getting right did you?" "Yet tir" I said simply I never had to hide with Grandpa he understood me, knew my limitations, comprehended my potential and rolled with it all. "Good plan girl, three might have been a safer bet tho." "No tir, it wudn't hab cuz i wuda habd prolems wit three pitting into my hand." I spoke in the way that was comfortable there were times when he fussed over how I spoke, but as long as we were in a private setting it was safe to talk the right way the normal way. "dot it wite doe didnt i?" "Yes Sister you did. Good job with it too." He called every one who wasn't Grandma but was female sister, even his own daughters. I stood there starring at him waiting for the expected. He stopped working after a moment and said softly "Yes they are from Michigan, or at least, that's how they tell it." I smiled a big smile, stuck my finger in my mouth, and made for the inner gate planning now to play on my swing set until he took a break for lunch or Grandma found something for me to do.
"Well if this infernal contraption would...." or " Why doesn't this irritating contraption do what it's supposed to do?" Those two statements told the entire world that Jim was "working" on something and had plans to continue until it was "fixed" . By the way if you aren't aware of the definition of the word fixed it means mutilated beyond recognition, O and working that actually means beating mercilessly at an inanimate object with a collection of the most impressive looking tools you can possible muster. Jim was one of my step grandfathers. My Mother was from Grandma's second marriage and Jim was her fifth husband. I had grown up with the man in fact until I was ten or so before I had even met any of the others, but I knew I wasn't his actual granddaughter.
Moving on is what we should be doing I reckon, so here we go.....
It's the dead of winter here in Thonnasassa Fl. which of course means it's a frigid 65 degrees out. Now while I know that there are allot of towns in which a 65 degree day in January would be cause for nothing short of jubilation, here it's a terribly cold day for a climate that is mostly temperate to hot and occasionally even dammed hot. I've already seen our weirdo neighbors pop their heads out make exclamations about the cold air and burrow back into their cozy trailer. Where no doubt electric heaters and warming blankets have been drug from their hiding holes and put into service. It only makes me laugh at their strangeness all the more. "grandpa i thought dey was from up nort sumplase like mitchigun or somethin" I'm prodding him for more information about the people he told me I'm not allowed to be in contact with. He knows it and I know he knows it.... etc.... "Girl, just go get me a 18ths inch head fur my drill, and quit askin about stuff you know damwell your not sposed to be into." "yet tir" I bowed my head and obediently went after the requested tool piece. I'm not fooled old man I thought to myself he'll break as soon as you get back with this socket he let it spill out nice and easy like it's all on purpose. I return with a simple smile on my face certain I had guessed what an 18th inch socket looked like. It was a guess you know, I hadn't a clue what he was talking about beyond that when he worked on the lawn mower he used these one things with holes down the middle on the end of his drill he called them sockets. He was working on the mower now and I hadn't seen the holed sockets so he must want those. I hold my hand out palm up with two of the sockets balanced carefully on top of it. He looked up and smiled at me. "Figured two was safer odds of getting right did you?" "Yet tir" I said simply I never had to hide with Grandpa he understood me, knew my limitations, comprehended my potential and rolled with it all. "Good plan girl, three might have been a safer bet tho." "No tir, it wudn't hab cuz i wuda habd prolems wit three pitting into my hand." I spoke in the way that was comfortable there were times when he fussed over how I spoke, but as long as we were in a private setting it was safe to talk the right way the normal way. "dot it wite doe didnt i?" "Yes Sister you did. Good job with it too." He called every one who wasn't Grandma but was female sister, even his own daughters. I stood there starring at him waiting for the expected. He stopped working after a moment and said softly "Yes they are from Michigan, or at least, that's how they tell it." I smiled a big smile, stuck my finger in my mouth, and made for the inner gate planning now to play on my swing set until he took a break for lunch or Grandma found something for me to do.
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